Love will save you.

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 23:43:27 GMT

i'm laughing so hard...soooo hard.

it means alot more...

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 21:43:59 GMT

i thank God that she exists, a little blue eyed angel who's spent her fair share of time in hell. Which brings me back to "God" in general, since i'm thanking him and all. What happened to him? Has he decided too that this world is too much for him? Has his sence of identity been radically desensitized? oh wait, that's me. What a funny guy...so many questions, all unanswered of course, those are the best kind. because face it, none of us can handle the truth. fuck where am i going with this...i told you i can't write anymore! which leaves me at where do i go from here?

Look, she understands the deep, dark fucking demons inside of me. and when they start to rear their ugly heads only her reason and my attempt at strength will send them back to where they came from. when i figure out how to end this i will. (PUN!)

MMWWWAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
::GROWL::
::WINK::

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 00:44:28 GMT

right now i feel sad, there's a hollow place in my stomach.

It's funny how people become such a part of you, part of your day, part of your heart. That kind of relationship is the most beautiful, yet also painful. The light, joy and substance brought into my life has forever changed me.

I wish that there was someway to speak of all this color
that has suddenly filled my life.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 04:05:38 GMT

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:09:16 GMT

when the trees green explodes, and the sky in its infinite orange cloaspes
on our hearts, we will run and run to find the light that got lost inside of us.

To the back of my cheeks, you fill my hair gently, my tears
open wide with flesh, touching my mouth you fall down.

Decameron.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:17:17 GMT

To have compassion for those who suffer is a human quality which everyone should possess, especially those who have required comfort themselves in the past and have managed to find it in others.

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 14:50:34 GMT

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 07:26:20 GMT

i went over my grandmas house today
all we talked about was my grandpa
it might be all we have in common

does it ever get any easier?

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 23:44:21 GMT

everytime i go into the bathroom
she sreams
"i love you!"

the best card i've ever gotten.

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 10:36:06 GMT

when things
are changing
all around us
and the world
seems to move to fast,
don't forget
i'll be right beside you,
loving you.
what i feel for you
is deep, total,
and enduring-
a love you can
count on
without ever
having to wonder.

so when you
look ahead
to future changes
or think about
how the past
used to be,
don't forget
to look beside you,
because that's
where you'll find me,
loving you
with all my heart.

merry christmas.

how do i even desrve that.

it really is april.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 05:07:17 GMT

Your True Birth Month Is April

Hasty
Moving
Consoling
Emotional
Aggressive
Diplomatic
Revengeful
Adventurous
Good memory
Loves attention
Strong mentality
Loving and caring
Brave and fearless
Active and dynamic
Suave and generous
Easily get too jealous
Decisive but tends to regret
Motivates oneself and the others
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Friendly and solves people's problems
Prone to sickness usually of the head and chest

What's Your True Birth Month?

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 16:04:48 GMT

My body's not even cold
My act is just getting old.

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:02:07 GMT

why don't i think i deserve this is what you should be asking.

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:22:38 GMT

why don't i think i deserve this is what you should be asking.

i remember the first time i did it. i wasn't sleeping at home that night and you kept calling. you were inconsolable, hysterical. only i held the key to your happiness and i didn't give a shit. you were confused and helpless. you called back to tell me you made friends with a knife and i lost it. i didn't need the complication of you in my life. i hung up and i didn't answer again. i was upset, cold and selfish. an ugly human being. i listened to you cry with mild compassion/remorse for what i had done to you. you of all people. on top of that this would all be played out again.

winter would turn into spring than spring into summer and summer into fall. by this time there was a change in me. while it's unfortuante that i could now feel this type of pain, i gained the ability to love. whether i have done that yet i don't know, but i know now that if i wanted to i could.

i wonder if you're as scared to loose me as i am of you.

move your big freckled asses

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 06:46:15 GMT

ok
so
you know how you've heard a song
a million times
but then
one day
you hear it again
days later
months later
years later
and you really hear it
you already know all the words
and can sing along
but as you listen
you realize
that you've really never heard it?

they've got alot to learn.

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 10:29:53 GMT

tonight i read through my entire journal.

here's a few things i found...

"i am a ball of hyper activity...actually i should say i'm a wrecking ball of moodiness."

"days are finally blurring together which means it's certainly summer."

"it's really hard to say why people can be the cruelest to the ones they love the most."

"i saw the movie click. it made me think about how often we fast forward through our own lives."

"i'm a fucking grown up. yeah right..."

"one day you wake up and you realize something that leaves you feeling like you've just been hit by a truck."

"a few days ago i noticed how clear and bright your eyes are. today i noticed again."

there's only a few more pages left to fill
then i'm moving on.

best compliment EVER

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 17:24:04 GMT

You Are Most Like Bill Clinton

No doubt, your legacy may be a little seedier than you'd like.
But even though you've done some questionable things, you're still loved by almost all.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

fucking listen to me when i'm talking to you

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 17:13:28 GMT

yesterday i met someone
who looks just like you
he was a jerk
like you
but in a different way
i found myself torn
between love and hate.

Das Stundenbuch

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 21:17:40 GMT

Ich bin auf der Welt zu alleiu und nicht allein genug,
um jede Studen zu weihen.
Ich bin auf der Welt zu gering und doch nicht klein genug,
um vor dir zu sein wie ein Ding.
dunkel und klug.
Ich will meinen Willen und will meinen Willen begleiten
die Wege zur Tat;
und will in stillen, irgendwie zorgernden Zeiten,
wenn etwas naht,
unter den Wissenden sein
oder allein.
Ich will dich immer spiegeln in ganzer Gestalt,
und will niemals blind sein oder zu alt,
um dein schweres schwankendes Bild zu halten.
Ich will mich entfalten.
Nirgends will ich gebogen bleiben,
denn dort bin ich gelogen, wo ich gebogen bin.
Und ich will meinen Sinn
wahr vor dir: Ich will mich beschreiben
wie ein Wort, das ich sah,
lange und nah,
wie ein Wort, das ich begriff,
wie meinen taglichen Krug,
wie meiner Mutter Gesicht,
wie ein Schiff,
das mich trug
durch deu todlichsten Sturm.

-Rainer Marie Rilke

Don't Wear That Mask Unless You Mean It

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 00:45:54 GMT

If i had further been asked what that was, I should have explained by pointing to all sorts of pictures of rabbits, should perhaps have pointed to real rabbits, talked about their habits, or given an imitation of them.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
Aspect and Image

maybe it's not necessary to fuck
every knothole in the forest
or squeeze a bottle of blue hair dye through
trembling cheeks to know the experience of birth
but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

I know what you're thinking
my passion pink skin and pea green teeth
will be out of place at the policeman's ball
they'll just have to be happy
with a hallucinogenic pap smear

my new friends are decked out in cheery monster drag
blowing formaldehyde kisses at the paparazzi
who said "no sex for robo sapiens"?
and don't give me that rubber dick chick grin

personally I'm hoping that these important
cartoon adjustments and the new
bio-mechanical syntheses of the bunny-men
may loosen the culture shock
on your humanist stool lock.

Go cry about it.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 18:59:04 GMT

today i locked the door
and made up for lost time.

go cry about it.

a return to love

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:08:52 GMT

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. out deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is out light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. we ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of God. your playing small does not serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we are all meant to shine, as children do. we were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. as we let our own light shine, we subcosciously give other people permission to do the same. as we're liberated from our own fear; our presence automatically liberates others.'

-marianne williamson, a return to love

Peter fucking Frampton.

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:11:06 GMT

tonight i finally liked the ending of high fidelity.

after seeing it hundreds of times
i finally got it.

Galapogos

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:16:30 GMT

Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child?
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me, and all that I believe

I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?

Carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
And hold me for goodbyes and whispered lullabyes
And tell me I am still the man I'm supposed to be

I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?

Too late to turn to turn back now, I'm running out of sound
And I'm changing, changing
And if we died right now, this fool you loved somehow
Is here with you

I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Would you leave me too?

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 07:22:33 GMT

i haven't been gone very long, but it seems like a lifetime.